Tea on a Tuesday

Image courtesy of -Marcus- / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Italy, the land of Chamomile tea... I guess you thought it was the land of cappuccino, caffe latte and espresso, am I right? Well, you're right... and you're wrong.... The Italians are of course drinking millions of cups of coffee every day. Lots of coffee. Strong coffee. They're Italians, right? And they know both how to make it and how to drink it. 

But mention the word "tea" to the average Italian and the first word that pops into his head is "chamomile" or camomilla as it is called here. This is something I don't understand. They go from drinking coffee that is so strong that it knocks your socks off to this insipid, pale yellow liquid. What on earth happened on the way? Well, part of the answer lies in the fact that they love their coffee so much that they don't need another drink. Only when they have an upset stomach (from drinking too much coffee...) or feel a bit under the weather for various reasons do they consider drinking something else. Oh, and lets not forget when they're "nervous" as they call it. (Sono nervoso...!"%#¤%¤#¤!) At that point the only valid choice is camomilla. I don't know to what extent the tea calmes them down, but anyway....

But what about me? I'm an avid tea drinker. Even if I love my coffee after lunch and dinner I consider myself first and foremost a tea drinker. Have been all my life. Before I moved to Italy I didn't drink any coffee at all. But lots and lots of tea. Black tea, that is. Never chamomile. Ever! Only the smell of it makes me feel sick. I just can't stomach it. 

And what happens when you're at someone's house and you ask for a cup of tea instead of coffee? Out comes the chamomile tea! Or some other herbal tea with fennel, aniseed or liquorice. At that point I just go for the coffee....

If you go to a supermarket to buy tea the story repeats itself. They have a huge amount of all the herbal teas you could ever think of - for an upset stomach; for sleepless nights; for high blood pressure etc etc.... And tucked in a corner you find some tea bags of unknown origins with English sounding names like "Lord Nelson". Well, I'm stretching the truth a bit here, because if you go to a well stocked supermarket you will of course find the English labels Twinings English Breakfast and Lipton Yellow Label, but that's it. And always tea bags. Never loose tea leaves. And I would so much love to be able to make myself a real "cuppa".... Sigh! Oh well, I guess I just have to make do with what I can get hold of. But Camomilla? Never!

I know I'm probably complaining a bit much, but for me drinking Lord-Nelson-tea is the same as for an avid coffee drinker having to settle for a non-label instant coffee for the rest of his life. And I'm not even English! 

PS. I have learnt that they have many shops in Rome selling all kinds of tea and the next time I go into the city I will definitely stock up un a lot of different types of tea. Really looking forward to it :-)

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PPS. On a little side note I have to say that I'm not writing to make fun of or mock the Italians as some people like to think. I've gotten comments in the past saying that I'm a really "%#¤& person for writing the things I do. But I'm only trying to illustrate the differences between living in Norway and living in Italy, which I hope people reading this blog understands. And to do that sometimes I have to exagerate to get my point across. If in doing so I offend people I sincerly apologize. But if I were to write only the facts and nothing else I could just stop writing the blog because it would be boring to both read and write. The post I've just finished  would go something like this; In Italy people drink mostly coffee. If they're ill they drink chamomile. I don't like chamomile. Full stop.

So, in the future I hope people reading the blog can give me the benefit of the doubt.....

A coffee, please....

I guess the owner of this bar was tired of  his "rude" customers

You can see this sign as you enter a particular Italian bar. For those of you who doesn't speak Italian - this is what it says:


A (cup of) coffee    3 euro
A (cup of) coffee, please    2 euro
Good morning, can you make me a cup of coffee, please    1 euro


This is kind of a funny way to get the customers to be nicer to the barista when ordering their coffee..... I guess most people prefer to ask nicely for a cup of coffee instead of having to pay three times as much as the normal price.

However, I have to say I find it kind of strange, seeing a sign like this here in Italy where you hear "prego", "per favore" and "grazie" everywhere you go. You'll hear it shouted at the markets, it lingers in the corners of the shops and it bounces off the walls in the piazzas. So why would this particular owner feel that he has to educate his customers? It beats me..

I'm not sure how much I would have to pay for my coffee if I ordered it from that bar. Surely not 3 euro, but 1 or 2 euros depending on how much in a hurry I am at the time. If the bar is full or I have to catch a train my coffee would cost me 2 euros. (It might be a Norwegian "thing" - not wanting to waste anyone's time with "unneccessary" words......) But if I'm not in a hurry and the bar is almost empty I would get away with 1 euro.

How much would you have to pay for your coffee? 

Things I'm missing in Italy...

After a while of living abroad you will probably realize that there are things from your home country that you're missing in your new life. It might be stupid, but there are a few things from Norway that I really miss. Apart from family and friends, that is....

1. Long summernights when the sun "never" sets. This depends on where in Norway you are living. If you're as far north as the North Cape you have the Midnight Sun, i.e in the summer you have daylight 24/7.  In Bergen where I was living the sun sets around 2300-2330 and it gets dark around 0200AM. And then sunrise is around 0400 AM. Which means that you have only 2 hours of "dark" night. For some people this might sound like a nightmare because they don't understand how we manage to sleep when it's plain daylight outside. However, the Norwegians are used to this, and this is something I really miss. So, one year I have to go back to Norway for my summer holiday....

2. Usually when you are finished eating dinner (supper, tea) in Norway we thank whoever has prepared the food (which means that before you leave the table you say "takk for maten" to your mum, your dad or the hostess if you've been invited to dinner at a friends house. "Takk for maten" literally translates as "thank you for the food" or "grazie per il cibo" which might sound a bit strange in English/Italian - and maybe also other languages.). It might sound strange, but I feel really rude, impolite, ill-mannered when I can't express exactly what I want. I usually say "grazie", but it still doesn't feel "right".

3. Since I'm already talking of food, I can admit that I'm missing the Norwegian "brunost" (brown cheese). I guess that brunost is to Norwegians what Vegemite are to Australians.... My Norwegian family is always bringing me brunost when they come to visit, but unfortunately I finish it off too fast... A funny story (that wasn't quite as funny when it happened) is the time when they stopped me in the security check at the airport and they went through my cabin bag and almost cut it open with a knife to see what was inside.... My bag was full of brunost and it so happens that on the computer screen this cheese looked a bit like the stuff they use for making bombs...(!) You know, the "play dough" they use in films to connect the bomb.... So, what have I learnt from this? To put the brunost in the suitcase I'm going to check in....

4. Oat flakes. That is, you can buy oat flakes here (and it will cost you an arm and a leg....), but it's not the oat flakes you can use for making porridge. Here they mix it in soups (minestrone) and no matter how long you boil the stuff, it won't turn into porridge.


5. Tooth picks (!?) Of course you find toothpicks here, but they have the size of a telephone pole and is unsuitable for cleaning your teeth. They use it mostly for "stuzzichini", that is finger food....


6. Tea leaves. This is incredible I think. I've looked everywhere and I can't find ONE place that sells  loose tea leaves.( One second thought, maybe not so incredible after all, since "no one" drinks tea in this country...)


7. Brown bread/bread with cereal, nuts, seeds etc. This is something that is dearly missed. I know you can find brown bread some places here in Italy (mostly up north in the country, but also in Toscana...), but where I live there isn't ONE single place that sells brown bread. Because of this I'm making my own bread at home, but the downside of that is that the brown flour will also cost you an arm and a leg. You have to pay around 2 euros for 1 kilo of brown flour! Oh well. The good news is that LIDL has opened a supermarket not far from here and they sell self raising (brown) flour so maybe this is my "salvation"...?


8. To be able to say something funny without even thinking.. It might sound weird, but it isn't easy being funny in another language. Many times I think of something funny to say (in Norwegian), but then it isn't possible translating into Italian (it might be because of cultural differences or it might be that it just isn't funny anymore when it is translated) and other times it happens that when I've translated the phrase into Italian the moment has passed....

9. The rain from my place back in Norway. (Bergen, where it rains more than any other place in Norway....) So, every now and then I miss the "clean" feeling after a heavy shower of rain, or I miss the sound of the rain. (Nothing is like going to sleep at night when the rain is pouring down outside...) The last couple of times when it has rained here I've put on my wellies (rubber boots, stivali di gomma), my raincoat and brought the umbrella and then I've gone for a loooong walk.


10. This is really a silly one. I miss the special "broom" with a unit for "clipping on" the cleaning rag. (Which means the cleaning rag never falls off by accident when you're cleaning the floors!) In addition to being a smart device it's also long enough for me to use. Here in Italy all the brooms are just to short so I end up with backpain after cleaning... (Yes, I know. I'm complaining! I just needed to get it off my chest....)

I guess that was all for now. I just want to add - because there seems to be people that are misunderstanding what I'm writing on this blog - that I'm not writing this because I feel superior to others or that I hate Italy or the Italians. I wouldn't be living here at all if that was the case. So maybe my next blog post should talk about what I like about living here? Will do!!

And oh... Sorry for not putting in any pictures in this post. At the moment I don't have access to my own computer with all my pictures. Will add pictures later. Have a nice week end everyone!

The weird, foreign lady

Here in Italy I come across as a bit "weird". Because I'm doing weird things. Like....

Putting on my summer clothes in March because the temperature is the same as in July in Norway - and everybody else is still in their winter clothes...

I recycle.... and in my kitcken you'll find containers for glass, plastic and paper. The Italians (at least Italian friends and family) see me as somewhat "idealistic".... and when they've been to visit I always find leftovers from the dinner mixed with the paper, Kleenex in the bin for the glass and teabags in the plastic container.....

I make my own bread because I'm not very keen on white bread, but prefer to put in nuts, seeds, oat flakes etc (Weird....) Ma non vale la pena fare il pane in casa. Lo dicono tutti. - But it can't be worth the effort? they all ask.

I walk. Sometimes I walk to the supermarket and other times I walk when we're going to friends and family's house for dinner. Or I just walk. Without having any other plans than just walking. I know. It's a Norwegian thing. We walk because we want to, not because we have to. And for many Italians that is a strange thing to do. And I'm sure they think I'm walking because I can't afford having my own car - or even afford buying a bus ticket. And I offend my sister-in-law when I decline her offer to be driven to and from the dinner party, because she thinks I probably don't like her anymore... If I'd only had a valid "excuse" for walking, but I don't. I'm not obese, I don't have high cholesterol or any other illness. I just happen to like walking. Strange...

 But the most strange about this lady (for now...) is something else. And it's so weird that my husband has to mention it whenever we meet friends and family. And then they all look at me like I'm something strange from the Zoo.

And the reason for this?

It's this little thing that's dangling from the pocket of my coat when I'm walking in the dark ....

 

And for non-Norwegians who have never seen a thing like this I can tell you that in Norwegian it's called "Refleks" and we use it when we're walking roadside in the dark so the passing cars will notice us.... Clever, huh?? Well, at least I think it's clever, but still, I will probably remain the weird lady for as long as I live....

;-)

Right on time??

Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When you're living abroad, you will experience things that are different from what you're used to in your homeland; things that you have to get used to, accept and learn to live with. Some of the things you won't have any trouble accepting, while others will be more difficult. And one of the things that I haven't learnt to live with (yet) is the fact that the Italians are unable to be on time for anything

If you ask the Italians themselves they will probably tell you that they're on time, but to me it doesn't mean you're on time if you show up half an hour late for your appointment. To me that means you have little respect for other people's time. But unfortunately for me the Italians look at time in almost the same way they they look at rules and regulations; something that is not carved in stone, but open for their own individual interpretations. Like when you hit a red light while driving at night and there's not a single soul in sight. No need to stop and wait for the green light, right?? And if they have a date with friends at 09 in the morning they might show up at 0930 or 1000 if they were out until late the night before...  And if you invite someone for dinner they might knock on your door an hour or two after the intended time because they just had to tend to something else first.... (Sort of just like Alfie Atkins....)

Last week my sister-in-law was going to pick up me and my mother-in-law to give us a lift to a given destination at 1515. I stood waiting outside my house at 1505 and my mother-in-law showed up at 1515. But my sister-in-law was nowhere to be seen. We waited and waited and waited.... At 1545 my mother-in-law called her to ask where she was. I'm just leaving the house now, was the answer she got. Still, it took a good 25 minutes extra before she turned up... happy.... seemingly unaware of the fact that she was nearly an hour late.... Oh well...
 
My husband knows that I'm not very happy when he's too late for lunch or dinner so he's doing his best to ring me when he's going to be delayed. We usually have lunch at 1230 and the other day he rang me at 1215, ie. fifteen minutes before lunch. And can you imagine what he told me on the phone?
 
- I don't know if I manage to get home by 1230 today, but I'll call you back in half an hour to tell you if I'm going to be on time.....

(So what he's really saying is that he will call me at 1245 to tell me if he manages to get home by 1230.....)

 ??????!!

 

Malocchio

...or in English - the evil eye. In many cultures it is believed that certain people can cast a spell on you, cause bad luck or injury just by looking at you. You'll find this belief or superstition in the Middle East, but also in countries like Italy, Greece or Spain.

The so-called "curse" can consist of anything from small mishaps to some major "disasters". As protection against these, you can wear a cross around your neck or use various good luck charms.

Here in Italy people often use a "horn" as protection against the malocchio 

 

 
..... While in Greece they use the blue eye

Some days ago I got the proof that this superstition is still very much alive. My brother-in-law had suffered from headaches several days and no tablets helped relieve it so he asked his mother to do the malocchio - which means to perform a kind of ritual in order to verify if someone really has given him the evil eye and if so make it disappear .....

This ritual is normally performed by one of the oldest in the family, usually a grandmother - who most likely has learned it from her grandmother. I have found a video on Youtube that shows how it's done. It can be found here. (An American filmmaker has made a film about malocchio; can science prove or disprove this? Is the superstition still alive in the new generation? Is it possible to cure malocchio? Or even better, how can you avoid getting it?)

To perform this ritual you pour water in a small bowl and make the sign of the cross over it several times while saying a Catholic prayer before telling the evil and the envy to leave the person. When done, dip one finger in olive oil before dripping four drops of it in the water making the form of a cross.  If they divide in to many smal droplets it means that it really was the malocchio; if they remain unchanged it wasn't...

Then the bowl with the water and the oil is left to rest for a few hours so the oil will spread over the entire plate before it's poured into the sink so that it all will end in the sea where the malocchio will disappear for good. 

While this took place me and my husband was sitting in the living room and mother- and brother-in-law was in the kitchen. 

What on earth are they doing - is it the "malocchio"? I asked my husband.

"Yes, my brother has a headache that won't go away", was the response I got.

"Well, then you simply take a headache tablet", I said (with emphasis - just to show how I felt about this topic). My husband only laughed at me...

When my mother- and brother-in-law came back into the living room, of course my husband had to tell them what I'd just said. My mother-in-law then looks at me and says "My dear, he has already taken several tablets without any result"

Which of course means that the only reasonable solution to the problem is doing the malocchio! 

 

....... SIGH!

Best wishes for the new year

2011 hasn't been too good a year for Italy (along with some other countries). Because of the well-known crisis, the Italians have been forced to cut in an already tight budget. But where do you make these cuts when a normal salary or pension is only 600 euros or so? 

Unlike in Norway, for Christmas here in Italy people have mostly been buying un pensierino (a small present), because they can't afford to buy what they really want.

Families are having trouble paying their bills and getting wages to last all month. Several shops (ie butcher shops) have thus begun to make packages that contain meat, pasta, sauce, etc and sell at a cheap price to help people in need.

Businesses are closing down because of la crisi (the crisis). In a very short time my nearest newsagent and bakery had to close down. They closed for the summer holidays, but never reopened. Several months ago there was a fire in the local bar in the piazza and it had to close down. I don't think it will ever reopen. And when friends meet in the street all they are talking about is la crisi.

A note in one of the Italian newspapers reveals how hard life can be in Italy at the moment. But it also shows that people help each other in times of need...

(Scroll down for the English translation of the note)

Pensionata sorpresa a rubare, i Carabinieri prima l'arrestano e poi la invitano a pranzo. I militari sono intervenuti in un supermercato dove i titolari avevano pizzicato una donna a rubare carne a un valore di 20 euro. L'intervento dei militari ha consentito di fermare la donna che stava tentando di allontanarsi e di recuperare l'intera refurtiva. Una volta condotta in caserma, la donna, una pensionata 60enne, ha ammesso con un certo imbarazzo le proprie responsabilità. 

Ma la storia non è finita con la stesura del verbale. Dopo aver raccontato ai Carabinieri la dinamica del furto, ha spiegato i motivi del suo gesto, dettato dal fatto di non avere i soldi per fare la spesa e di non sapere come fare a sbarcare il lunario con la magra pensione. I militari, commossi dalla sincerità della donna, dato anche il periodo di feste, hanno prima fatto una colletta per farle la spesa e poi l'hanno invitato a pranzo. 

La pensionata, pur consapevole dell'errore commesso per il quale risponderà di furto davanti alla magistratura, non ha mancato di ringraziare i Carabinieri per l'umanità e la gentilezza dimostrati.

(English translation)

Pensioner caught stealing, the Carabinieri (the Military Police force) first arrest her and then invite her for lunch.

The Carabinieri intervened in a supermarket where the owners had caught a woman stealing meat to the value of 20 euros. The Carabinieri's intervention allowed them to recover all the stolen goods. Once taken into the police station, the woman, a 60 year old pensioner, admitted with some embarrassment that she was responsible.

However, the story did not end here. After having explained to the Carabinieri how she carried out the theft, she also told them that she did it because she didn't have any money to do her shopping. The Carabinieri, moved by the woman’s sincerity, "passed the hat around" at the police station to collect money so they could do some shopping for her, and then invited her for lunch.

The pensioner, which have to answer for her crime before the magistrates, thanked the Carabinieri for the humanity and kindness which they showed her.

I really hope that 2012 will be a much better year for everybody...

BUON ANNO FROM ITALY

Norwegian vs Italian

A "sneak peek" into the bathroom shelf of a Norwegian man and an Italian...... 


The Norwegian version.....

... the Italian.....

Need I say more.....???

The Italian way

Image: africa / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Some time ago my husband was out driving when he was stopped by a passing police car. And the policeman wanted to give hime a fine because he wasn't using the seat belt. (He only use the seat belt when I force him to, which I do because I hate the horrible "ding-ding" sound from the dashboard when the seat belt isn't fastened. However, this time I wasn't with him in the car. Which means no seat belt...)

"No problem", my husband said. "But you have to make it two". 

"And why is that?" the policeman wanted to know.

"You weren't using your seat belt either"! my husband replied.

And guess what? He didn't have to pay the fine!! 

I'm sorry, I didn't quite get your name.....??

Image: Sharron Goodyear / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Here in Italy people tend to make petnames out of people's (children's) names. One of the reasons for this might be that children "inherit" their names from the grandparents... Which means that some of the names are rather "serious" names for a little child. So maybe that's why they put a little twist on everybody's names??

The funny thing is that since this petname stays with a person for the rest of their lives you may encounter old men who is called Bobbo (which for some reason makes me think of a gorilla. Don't know why.... Hope I haven't offended anyone...)

When I first came here I found it difficult to remember all these petnames and I didn't understand how these names where made up. But now, after three years I have a vague idea of how this works. At least I hope so....

To some names you just add an -ino/ina or -etto/-etta or -ella at the end. This is to name something that is "small", for instance a child. So if a little girl is named Regina she can be called both Reginetta or Reginella. If you're named Paola people will call you Paolina. Lorenzo becomes Lorenzino and Fabio can be called Fabino or Fabietto.

You can also make a petname out of the last syllable of the name by repeating it twice which means that Gabriele becomes Lele and Libero becomes Bobbo (even though I don't understand how Libero and Bobbo are related...)

It's also possible to use the last syllable and then add the suffix -ino. And this is how Luigi becomes Gino...

Other possibilities is to omit the first part of the name without repeating or adding anything to what's left. And in this way Vincenzo becomes Enzo and Lorenzo becomes Renzo....

In Sicily they will call you Totò if you're named Salvatore, but in Napoli you have to be named Antonio to earn the right to be called Totò... Because Italians from the different regions can't be expected to agree on such an important topic...

And to confuse you even more I can add that where I live they have the habit of just using the first syllable (or the first two) in the name when they talk to you. So Paolo is called Pa, Rosaria becomes Ro or Rosà, Fabio is called Fa and Marco Ma. However, a confusing thing is when my husband is talking on the phone and calling someone Ma, I might think that he's talking to Marco, when the person he's talking to really is his mum. Because Mamma is of course called just Ma....

And so, if some time in the future you meet an Italian named Ciccio you should probably be able to guess what his real name is.....  Or not.....

What's on the menu??

Image: digitalart / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Here's a little everyday problem from Italy .... It is not exactly the biggest problem in the world, but it makes me feel a bit unsure whenever the situation arises. 

When I'm in a restaurant, tavern, trattoria or pizzeria I'm (as a Norwegian) used to be given a menu where you find listed the food that this particular place is serving. For an Italian, however I think they see the menu as a "nuisance" and this "nuisance" they only give to tourists. Since I am not a tourist anymore I don't get the menu. And when I'm out eating with my husband the following always happen:

The Italian (my husband): What are you eating tonight?
The Norwegian (I): I don't know.
 
The Italian: So, what do you feel like eating?
The Norwegian: It depends on what they have...


The Italian: They have everything (whatever that means...??) So, what do you want?
The Norwegian: I don't know because I don't know what they have on the menu....


Now we have reached the point where the Italian thinks I'm doing this on purpose. From his point of view everybody should understand what "everything" means. If we're in a pizzeria, of course they serve pizza (like I didn't know that..!) But still, we always have the same discussion every single time.

And then the waiter comes and asks us what we would like to eat. My husband is able to tell what he wants and then both the waiter and the Italian is turning around, looking at me. So, what do I want to eat....??

I'm starting to sweat... and with flickering eyes I'm mumbling something about "not knowing what they have on the menu in this place"...


And then the waiter looks at me, saying: 

We have everything ..!!!

 
(Sometimes I actually want to order Norwegian meatballs with gravy, potatoes and "sauerkraut" only to prove that they don't have "everything"!)

;-)

You know you're a foreigner in Italy when....

Now I've been living in Italy for 3 years and I thought I had started settling in, but every so often I discover things about myself which tells me that I will never become a real Italian....

And you know you're a foreigner in Italy when you:

• are the only one stopping in front of a pedestrian crossing
• are the only one respecting the red traffic light
• don't die of indigestion even if you drink a cappuccino after 11 o'clock in the morning
• don't feel the need to stuff yourself with pasta at least once a day
• get annoyed because the shops are closed between 13 and 16 every day
• miss being able to sit down in a cafeteria to read the paper and drink coffee (because you've finished the espresso even before you leave the counter....)
• notice that you're at least 4 inches taller than everybody else - men included
• are the only one knowing how to behave when driving through a roundabout
• are the only one using the seatbelt, even in the backseat...
• are the only one able to sleep with the window open and not getting a stiff neck, pneumonia - or worse.....
• seem to be the only one getting a stiff neck because of the rock hard mattresses in this country (the Norwegians are known for having very comfortable beds...)
• are the only one wearing summer clothes in March - even if it's 30 degrees outside...
• don't believe in "malocchio", a sort of curse that other people cast upon you
• don't understand why people feel the need to sit down right next to you when the train, bus or waiting room are empty except for you two...
• eat cereals and yoghurt for breakfast instead of cakes, croissants, pizza etc.
• really don't get that a cappuccino counts as breakfast
• don't feel comfortable when everybody asks you how much you paid for your house, your car, your shoes etc
• get disappointed because you can't eat meat on Christmas Eve 
• get even more disappointed because people always serve fish when I'm invited to someone's house for the first time. It seems they all believe that all Norwegians eat fish all the time. (And I don't like it at all...)
• are the only one who can "tell the time". Which means I'm the only one in time for appointments etc. Which also means that I'm sick and tired of always having to wait for everybody....

So, it seems that I will remain a Foreigner forever....

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C'è da 3 anni che sto qui in Italia, però ci sono ancora delle cose che mi fanno capire che non diventerò mai un'italiana vera. E perchè? 


Ve lo racconterò....

• Io sono "l'unica" a fermarmi davanti alle strisce pedonali
• Sono anche "l'unica" a fermarmi davanti alla luce rossa di un semaforo
• Non muoio dall'indigestione anche se ho preso un cappuccino dopo le 11 di mattina
• Non ho bisogno di mangiare la pasta almeno una volta al giorno
• Mi arrabbio perchè i negozi non fanno gli orari continuati
• Mi mancha andare in un bar a prendere un caffè mentre leggo il giornale (ma ho finito il caffè anche prima di andarmene dalla cassa. Un espresso non dura così tanto....)
• Sono la più alta nel mio paese (o quasi....)
• Sono l'unica persona che mette la cintura in macchina
• Sono l'unica a dormire con la finestra aperta tutto l'anno - senza che mi viene il torcicollo o il polmonite o ancora di peggio....
• Ma mi viene il torcicollo a causa dei materassi duri come i sassi. E tutti gli italiani dicono che un materasso duro fa bene.... Mah...
• Sono l'unica a mettere le mezze maniche a marzo. (Ma se fanno 30 gradi, perchè no?)
• Non credo a malocchio
• Non capisco perché la gente si sieda proprio vicino a me quando il treno, il pullman o la sala di attesa è vuota....
• Per la colazione mi mangio i cereali e lo yogurt invece di torte, cornetti o pizze...
• Mi sento a disagio quando la gente mi chiede quanto ho pagato per la casa, la macchina, le scarpe ecc
• Sono "delusa" perché non posso mangiare la carne alla vigilia di Natale (Lo facciamo in Norvegia)
• Divento anche delusa perché la gente che mi invita a cena mi fa sempre un piatto di pesce o di vongole (odio le vongole....) perché ovviamente pensa che tutti i norvegesi mangiano il pesce
• Sono l'unica persona che sempre arriva in tempo per gli appuntamenti. Il che significa che devo sempre aspettare la gente...

E mio marito dice sempre: Sei troppo norvegese!!  (Forse sarò sempre una straniera??)


(Con tutte queste cose può sembrare che a me non piace la vita italiana, ma non è affatto così. Soltanto che ci sono alcune cose a cui è difficile abituarsi per una norvegese....)

How to eat spaghetti like an Italian

I guess you've seen them before - Italians at the table, eating spaghetti and making it look so easy, while you're trying to get the spaghetti into your mouth without splashing the tomato sauce onto your clothes or the table-cloth or worse - the person sitting beside you.... Everything while inside you feel like a 3 year old that still doesn't manage the art of "self-feeding".

In situations like these many Norwegians start cutting the spaghetti into smaller pieces, making it even more difficult to eat without making a total mess out of the meal.  So they end up trying to avoid eating spaghetti "in public". But the good news is that it doesn't have to be like this. It's much easier eating spaghetti without loosing your dignity than you might think. And I'll tell you how to do it....

Rule No 1. to eat like an Italian is to use the fork and nothing else; never ever use a knife.

And when you're sitting at the table with a fork as your only tool and you're so nervous that you feel the sweat trickling down your spine you just have to put on a brave face.... Put the fork down into the spaghetti in an "upright" position, preferably not in the middle of the plate, but a bit to the side so that you don't get hold of a whole lot of spaghetti. 3-4 strings of spaghetti is enough.

Then you rotate the fork clockwise until you have a neat little roll of spaghetti around it and with an elegant gesture put everything into your mouth without the tomato sauce splashing around. (Just remember to hold the fork in an upright position while rotating it.)

Now that you know how to eat spaghetti like a pro you just have to rehearse (the first time you can try it when you're all alone) and then you can impress all your friends and family - and maybe also an Italian or two - when you're on holiday in Italy.... And you don't have to tell people that you've ruined 4 t-shirts and 3 table-clothes while rehearsing to become an Italian!!

Buon appetito!!

Norwegian food? Lascia perdere!!

My Italian mother-in-law is very concerned that her son isn't fed properly. Or to be honest, I think she's afraid that he will die of hunger because I don't feed him "come si deve" (as one should...)

So to avoid this she is often sending food over to my house so that she's sure that he at least get something nice to eat....

Parmigiàna - Aubergines with Parmesan cheese, tomatosauce and bechamelsauce, made in the oven......

Pasta (fazzoletti) con bieta - Pasta  with chard. (The pasta is called "handkerchiefs because of the shape and size, it's really big....)

Some days ago I had a conversation with her and it went more or less like this:

Mother-in-law: ....do you eat during the day???

Me: Yes, of course. (What a silly question....!)

Mother-in-law: But what do you eat? Le "cazzate"?? (This is difficult to translate, but if you eat "le cazzate" you eat junk food or other food that's not made the way it "should be" or it might be that you eat the wrong food at the wrong time....)

Me: Oh no, I eat proper food. I don't even like "le cazzate"...

Mother-in-law: But do you make a hot meal every day?? (At the moment the thermometre shows 30+, but you need at hot meal every day!!) What do you really eat?

... At this point I'm starting to feel that this is kind of an interrogation of the third degree.... (Especially since I don't like to have two hot meals a day like the Italians have..... So, my answer is kind of vague........)

Me:  Eeeehhmm..... I eat ...... eeeehmm..... I eat "the Norwegian way".

At this point I see that it dawns on my mother-in-law.... Everything that's not Italian is not worthy of being called food. So really, I guess I do eat "le cazzate" ....

And my mother-in-law is clearly not very happy with this answer.... Whaattttt??? Mangi alla norvegese?? ....... What??? Are you still eating "the Norwegian way?! Ma lascia perdere con il cibo norvegese!!! Mo' stai in Italia e hai bisogno di cibo che ti da l'energia!! Stop eating this (stupid) food. Now you're living in Italy and you need food that gives you energy....!!!  Lascia perdere davvero...  You really need to stop! 

And then she gave me a whole list of things that are so easy to make that even I ought to manage.... (I wonder how I survived before..??!?)

And the day after her son - my husband - came home with this.... And it's still 30 degrees.... (Oh well, so my husband will survive yet another day......)

Pasta e fagioli - pasta with beans

In addition my mother-in-law had sent me "gli odori" - some vegetables that you use when making Italian food.. 

And since a Norwegian and an Italian is literally on "different planets" when it comes to what kind of food you're preparing and eating - and the time of the day when you eat it... I didn't have the right stuff in the fridge to make whatever my mother-in-law wanted me to make. But, since I knew that she would ask me what I used them for the next time we talk I had to use them. So I used them to make a "soffritto" (Taken from Wikipedia: it's a combination of onions, carrots, and celery. Either raw, roasted or sautéed with butter, it's the flavor base for a wide number of dishes, such as stocks, soups, stews and sauces. The three ingredients are commonly referred to as aromatics.)

And so (yes, I have to admit that I'm really really ashamed...) I used this in a "frozen-soup" that I had in the freezer...

And lucky for me, my camera didn't work when I was going to take a picture of the final result. So nobody gets to see "le cazzate" that I made. Hooray!!  But at least I can tell my mother-in-law that I used the aromatics for a soup. I have a clean conscience!!!!! Almost...

When in Rome....

One of the differences between an Italian and a Norwegian is the use of hands to emphasize the words when talking - even if the one they're talking to can't see them (i.e. if they're talking on the phone). And if you're a foreigner it's not easy to understand what an Italian is trying to say to you when he's screaming and waving his hands like crazy. So to help you out a bit, I've collected some of the most common "hand-signs" you will encounter when you travel to Italy.

CHE VUOI? (WHAT DO YOU WANT/MEAN/WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?)

Keep all the fingertips on one hand collected tightly together just like in the picture. You can either hold it still or shake it (impatiently) up and down. (The best thing is to move it slightly up and down). The more impatient you are, the more shaking is going on.... You use this if you are fed up about what another person is telling you. Or if you are far away from a person and he's trying to say something you don't understand or hear. If you make this sign, shaking your hand up and down it's like saying "I don't understand, what are you trying to say to me?

CONTRASTO (CONTRAST) 

If you hold your hands like this you are indicating that the persons you are talking about don't agree. 

PIENO DI GENTE ("PACKED" WITH PEOPLE)

When you hold your fingers like this you indicate that a place is "packed" with people. But remember to hold your hands still, because if not, you're indicating that you are impatient about something. (Look at picture number one...)

SE L'INTENDONO ("SECRETS")

The two index fingers are held toghether like this to indicate that two people have reached a (secret) understanding or that they meet in secret....

FAME (HUNGER)

Hold your hand like seen on the picture, the palm facing down and move it left and right. This indicates that you are hungry.

RUBARE (THEFT)

The hand is first held with all the fingers upright. Then you close it by bending the fingers one by one (starting with the little finger), just like you were going to play the harp. With that movement of the hand you indicate that someone is a thief.. (Or that you yourself are going to steal something).

CHE PESO ("HOW BORING....")

Hold the hand like indicated in the picture and than tap it lightly against your chest. This means that you are fed up with someone or something. (You have problems "digesting" someone or something....)

Surnames revisited...

Not long ago I wrote about the strange surnames you can find here in Italy. But since I find new ones every single day I'll give you another amusing list. And I'm sure that after reading this you're happy that you are named Smith or Brown or something else that's slightly boring.....

Buonacucina = Good-kitchen

Gatto = Cat

Bevilaqua = Drink-water

Casagrande = Large-house

Vinonuovo = New-wine

Purgatori = Purgatory

Mastronzo = (What a) moron

Coma = Coma

Sterminio = Extermination

Morbillo = Measles

Spazzolini = Brushes

Sanguedolce = Sweet-blood

Incapace = Not-able-to

Rutto = Burp

Cavadenti = Pulling-teeth

Cantacessi = Singing-toilet

Mezzabarba = Half-beard

Amazzalorso = Kill-bears

Tontodimamma = Mum's "dimwit"

Passacantando = Passes-by-singing

Carnevale = Carnival

Pappagallo = Parrot

Della Seta = (Made) of-silk

Bellagamba = Beautiful-foot

By the way, I wonder how the Italians manage to introduce themselves to each other without giggling??